Day 15 – A song that describes you Slint - Don, Aman
A song that describes me? How so? How can a song describe me? I don’t know about this one.
Rather I’m going to answer it with a song that I really connect to emotionally. This Slint song from their amazing album Spiderland really nails the experience of social anxiety. I definitely can relate to the theme of being at unfamiliar parties and feeling a complete disconnect from the environment yet overwhelming awareness of myself. This album really has some incredible lyrics, but with their softly spoken delivery, they can be easy to miss. It wasn’t until I heard this record while following along with the lyrics that it really clicked with me. I’ll definitely end this post with them.
Still, this song is really bleak and depressing and I don’t want to think of it as describing “me” all the time. Never. But there are always those occasions when you just feel like you want to jump out of your own skin. And this song absolutely nails that.
Don stepped outside. It felt good to be alone. He wished he was drunk, Thought about something he said, And how stupid it had sounded He knew he should forget about it And decided to piss, but he couldn’t… (A plane passed silently overhead, the streetlights, and the buds on the trees and the night, were still.)
It finally came, he took a deep breath. It made him feel strong, and determined, To go back inside.
The light. Their backs. The conversation. The couples, romancing, so natural. His friends stare, With eyes, like the heads of nails. The others. Glances. With amusement, With evasion, With contempt. So distant, With malice, For being a sty In their engagement, Like swimming underwater in the darkness, Like walking through an empty house, Speaking to an imaginary audience, Being watched from outside, by no-one (A song without a key) He could not dance to anything.
Don left, And drove, And howled, And laughed, At himself. He felt he knew what that was.
Don woke up, And looked at the night before. He knew what he had to do. He was responsible. In the mirror, He saw his friend.